I’ve had my fair share of dealing with toxic people. In Colorado alone, I can think of five very difficult people I’ve had to deal with! Though they are unpleasant, I have found ways to deal with these difficult people. Please read on to find out how.
The first piece of advice I have is to avoid these people. That’s what I chose to do with three of the five individuals mentioned above. I no longer communicate with them. Pretty easy choice on my end! And it has worked.
I get that we cannot avoid all people. Coworkers, for example, come to mind. I have two rather toxic coworkers. This is what I do: I limit my time talking to them. It’s that simple. If we have something work-related to discuss, I have a quick, respectful, and professional conversation and move on. Thankfully I’m mobile and independent in my job, so I am not stuck in an office with them. So if you can’t completely avoid a toxic person, try limiting the time you spend with them as best as you can.
Other advice: set boundaries. I am big on boundaries; they’re important to have in everyday life as we all have neighbors, family, and coworkers. Dr. Henry Cloud has great advice on setting boundaries. Please visit his website, www.drcloud.com.
Something else you can do besides avoiding toxic people, limiting time with them, and setting boundaries with them is talking to them (which I get is not easy). Many times, healthy relationships and friendships start with difficult conversations. It probably doesn’t happen often, but sometimes confronting toxic people leads to friendship. You never know!
Lastly, don’t try to fix these people. I tried and failed miserably with one gentleman I used to coach baseball with. He was so angry and rude that I would try to fix him. That didn’t work. He may change one day, but that’s on him, not me. We cannot fix people, especially when they’re toxic. All we can do is work on ourselves.
Have a great week,
Paul
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